A Poem and finally, it's probably going to happen.

No, our angels won't be around forever and I think that if anyone claims to "love them" they should show it NOW. Don't wait until it's too late.. and remember when you act like he doesn't KNOW or is does not matter so its not worth your time to visit or spend time with, it will be YOUR fault when he is gone. NOt MY fault because I have never kept anyone from visiting him. There will be no excuses. He may not get mad and continue to live peacefully without your love or help but Ganny feels the hurt for him when he is treated differently than the "NORMAL" kids in the family. Ganny has to deal with the rejection for him.

Occasionally, we are graced with the presence of an earth bound Angel.
They are unable to stay with us for long, but while they do, they bring unprecedented joy and happiness to all they touch.
While they are here, we bask in their goodness and marvel at their contribution to the world.
When they leave, we are left with the devastation that comes with losing such a wonderful being, but we must remember the earth bound Angels are not ours to keep.
They are ours to enjoy, learn from, and behold until they return home.
Author unknown

MS Ranks 51 out of States as for services they provide for children with disabilities. 51 being THE WORST. I have been on the waiting list for 6 years for help with Matthew. Neither I not my husband have insurance or any hope or retirement security. If something happened to me tomorrow, there is NO ONE that would give up their life to help with Matthew.
I am about 85% sure that I am taking him and moving to VA within the next few months. Really don't care who gets upset and pretty sure that no one will miss him. I can get the EDCD waiver for him without being on a waiting list. Even have a place to rent for a while so I can establish residency. My family will only be 20 minutes away. I know they will help because they did when they were here. I am going to do what I have to do to get him there. He will qualify for more than just the one waiver. He will get a LOT of help and the resource he needs to live a healthy life. He is to the point of being totally bed ridden if I don't get help soon and that is not the life he is going to live. I have put my life on hold for 8 years in MS the only thing that has happened is he's gotten bigger, more to handle, I still don't have any help, no family to help on either side so I hope no one feels they have the right to say anything. I am doing what I best for Matthew and our future.  May even have to get into somebody's pockets to qualify for the waiver but I dont care about that either. My husband and I have talked about his for a long, long, time and it looks like I am the one going to make the first move. I will noting our steps along the way so if anyone else finds themselves in our predicament, they can see what I did because I have big plans and they all include Matthew, and my husband. My kids are grown and make their own decisions, have their own families. I can't stand to see Matthew lay around most of the day.. I can't even take him to the pool anymore because NO ONE has time for him.
Some may say, well you deserve what you got, you new it when you were GIVEN custody... NO I didn't My husband & I was given custody believing that his mom, dad, family, my family, my kids, etc would be around to help as they said they would but little by little everyone slowly thought I can do it all myself. Then they say "Oh you are so strong". You know what? I am so SICK of hearing that. Now if someone would just give us the money to move, that would be wonderful but I don't see that happening either. Everything has always been a fight or a battle to get what is best for Matthew but I have come armed and ready.
Anyway. Look our VA, here we COME!