I wanted to save this from my facebook before it was lost in the FB archives. I know I am not alone on this journey when I have friends that suppport me and encourage me when I'm feeling down. I opened a facebook account for that reason so I am now going back to that reason. Going to make a lot of deletions on the friends page.. I don't know why they call them friends, they never were..ha. Some have added me & never spoken to me. I have this blog for people that would rather just read and keep up with my life. So here's my Rant yesterday on FaceBook.
Charlotte Pugh Kappler I have to live with the fact that I am raising & loving a child I know is going to die before I do, I wake up every morning and several times a night to chek to make sure he is still breathing...(Kids like him just go to sleep & never wake up incase you did not know that) I DO NOT have time for games or the extra str...ess. I am closing the book on this one. I have to keep strong for Matthew. .
Heidi Lotthammer amen sister !!!!!!!!!!praying for you and matthew!!!
Yesterday at 1:01pm ·
Caroline Oates- Kelly I dont know who this refers to but i just want to say they will never be the person that you are honey. Your love for Matthew is amazing, but that comes easy because of who he is You have all our support here honey always xxx
Yesterday at 1:07pm · Helen Stamp Miko ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Yesterday at 1:08pm · Tina Kelley Atkins Do any of those "so called friends" know the true meaning of FRIEND?????
Yesterday at 1:13pm · Missy Buchanan Caroline said it the best! These special children are angels. We are so blessed to have them & remember God gives special children to special people.
Yesterday at 1:14pm ·
Andie Arballo Unless someone has walked in our shoes they will never know what it is to live every moment in fear of losing someone so precious and innocent!! I didn't sleep for fear Angel would stop breathing and I wouldn't be holding her when it happened!! Love Matthew with everything you have and enjoy him every minute of every day!! Don't worry what people
say or think because the only thing that matters is that Matthew knows how much you love him and that you know you are giving him a wonderful life full of LOVE!! God bless you both!
Yesterday at 1:25pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler I am just trying to remind people that there are human beings under a lot more stress than they could ever know and things they say can harm that person a LOT more than they think. Chronic stress kills but it's not going to happen to me. .. sarcasm really stresses me out too.
Yesterday at 1:29pm · Andie Arballo I hear ya, I feel the same way! People should really stop and think about the things that are coming out of their mouths before they speak, words really do hurt! I hope whoever it was that pushed your buttons sees this and remembers to check their mouth! Hope you have a better day, love to you both!
Yesterday at 1:35pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler Thanks Andie, I just get so stressed out because there are people that are so wrapped up in their perfect little lives that they don't take the time to see what is happening to their "friends' or blood relatives"they just don't care.. It's all about them... . Won't even take a few minutes a month, even a year to spend with these kids but won't think twice to do something or say something that will make things worse on the parents.. I am sorry now that I have complained but I don't want these people reaching out to me AFTER my Matthew has gone. We (people with kids like Matthew) need support & encouragement NOW not after he's gone. I am through complaining now. Hug Andie and Im so sorry about Angel. Wish I could be there for you.
Yesterday at 1:41pm · Jodi Park oh charlotte i so know what you mean ♥ ♥
from one mother to another with a special needs child
i heart you
Yesterday at 1:45pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler That's why I am going back to the OLD reason I opened my facebook account.. to get support & encouragement from people that have kids like Matthew and also offer my advice from our experiences to people that need it. Thanks Ya'll
Yesterday at 1:50pm ·
Amanda Jayne Johal Clarke Charlotte honey, listen and always remember, what goes round comes back, this is so true, try and keep positive and focused and enjoy the special, precious time with your gorgeous Mathew, big hug chick xxx
Yesterday at 1:51pm · Sharon Sheagley He is worth everything too, Matthew gets the best love in the world. Anybody who does not have Matthew in their lives are missing Gods gift of life. I wish I could meet your little man, he sounds so wonderful. Not everybody gets blessed so much to take care of an angel, you are blessed Charlotte.
Yesterday at 1:53pm · Heather Schenkel Shaughnessy Aww, Charlotte, I too hate ppl . like that. I have found that my closest friends are some that I haven't ever met! You guys are the true spirits that keep my spirit up each morning when I sign on here.
I had someone call me Sunday with their "drama" which they caused mind you, and not ONCE said Hi or How are you?? Just laid their problems out
See More for me to fix.!! I cried later about that and Mike and I talked and realized someone like that is just not needed in our lives. You are so right to say what you said on all accounts. They want us there for them when they're not for us; and sadly you're right they will "try" to be there when it's too late.
You're one of the most AMAZING Mom's around and advocate so much for Sweet Matthew. We love you!! xxxx
Yesterday at 2:00pm · Andie Arballo You are so right the people who weren't there when I needed them to be aren't the people I want around me now, they should of come and got to know my little princess while she was here not come around now and say "oh I'm so sorry for your loss" I don't need their pity or their I'm sorrys!! My micro moms have shown us more love and support than my own family and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you!
Yesterday at 2:07pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler Thanks ya'll. I know we all have rants like I do but I get so frustrated.. I am keeping my focus on Matthew but have also decided to continue to my goal of getting my RT (or nursing degree) I put it on hold thinking I may be able to help someone else for a little while but that's not the case any more.) I am going on with my degree, even if I have to move to another state to get help to take care of Matthew.Matthew is my priority and I want him to have the best and I can't do that thinking someone else is going to step in & help with that because it's not going to happen unless I go after what he needs and that's what Im going to do. I might be 48 years old but at least I will be a 48 years old with a nursing or RT degree, retirement, insurance, and full time attendant care help with Matthew in MY home. Not letting anyone or anything get in my way this time.
Yesterday at 2:10pm · Crystal Pigg You go Charlotte I am so proud of you and Matthew. You truly are an inspiration. Matthew is a beautiful little boy and he is so loved. I can't wait One day I will meet little matthew. I love yall so much. My Danielle watches over her friends on earth Daily!!
Yesterday at 2:39pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler Thanks Crystal, I know she does. When I get my degree and make lots of money we'll have to meet up somewhere!
Yesterday at 2:45pm · Maria Orozco Awwww I know how hard this can be .... Im going trough some horrible things at the moment ...I wish i could forget ..I pray 2 God 2 give me the strength & clarity in my mind 2 not let these soo called friends mess w my peace .May God bless them...because unless they have ever felt the fear of ever loosin their bbs .Theres no way they could ever know what a liss mommy feels every day ... or how many times we thank God our bbs made it trough 1 more day!I'm sooo grateful 4 havin Alex in my life because he has made me the person I'm now ....He is the light of my life ! Thanx soooo much 2 every1 in my new family !!!without u guys , I dont think i would have much support from my soooo called friends ! I thank God 4 each & every1 of u ! Much love 2 all & ur bbs & all the Liss Angels' ! xo
Yesterday at 2:49pm · Helen Stamp Miko Charlotte- if they weren't there for me when I needed them most, then I have no use for them now. Maybe moving to Tn wouldn't be a bad move-- your mom, sister and daughter are there, right? Do you think John would be up for a move? I know I would love it, as then you'd only be about a 3 hour drive from me. LOL And you guys are ALWAYS welcome here at the lake.
Yesterday at 2:50pm · Grace Pugh Shonts And 7 hrs from me!
Yesterday at 3:26pm · Shawna Parker Cromwell-Snead Charlotte and ABMs, all I can say personally is that I LIVE EACH DAY. And yes those thoughts are always in the back of my mind, but if I let the depression win over me, I WON'T BE LIVING. So, I don't take for granted each and every day. They are blessings with Miss Kyleigh. And when the day comes for her to leave this earth, I hope and pray thatit is in her sleep, without discomfort and pain of the seizures.Each person's choice and reaction is very personal and individualized. I don't mean to offend anyone, just know I do have great empathy and everyone bares their own crosses. Peace & Love.
Yesterday at 3:28pm · Shawna Parker Cromwell-Snead Ok OOPS! I was totally off topic. Sorry Charlotte...maybe it will make you laugh! I did a flubberoo!
Yesterday at 3:29pm · Mary Sanderson I mlove you----this is mama
Yesterday at 3:34pm · Angela Christie Emrick Taylor u know what u should not b thinking negative
Yesterday at 4:22pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler I don't think I'm being negative. There is no cure or treatment for Matthew's diagnosis. I just need to make sure he has what he needs as he gets older which is someone to help me care of him, insurance for myself so I am able to take care of him, and retirement so I can take care of him when I retire. Right now I have none of that. HE will always ...
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be 3-6 months mentally but he will be the size of his age so that will mean long term care. Im just making plans and thinking ahead. If I don't he will end up in a State home.
Yesterday at 5:51pm · Shawna Parker Cromwell-Snead Charlotte, I know it's challenging period! I pray the money will be there to pay the tuition. But if I didn't go to school now and finish, then I would be and a bad place that I wouldn't want to be. It scares me that I am single parenting it here...but you know what, even though I was married, I was still a single parent. Financially things are tighter now, but you know what, in another year, I'll be able to test for my LPN. That creates more opportunities for me to provide for my girls independently and have good health insurance for them. If I can do it, you can do it lady. xoxoxo
Yesterday at 6:06pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler Thanks Shawna. I have my mind made up. CMMC cancelled so I went with UMMC for RT observation. Im going straight for the RN or RT.
Yesterday at 6:15pm · Jennifer Graham Hamen I love you
Yesterday at 6:24pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler Aww, love you too.. only you guys can know how it feels. Hugs to you all. Should have put this on my blog!
Yesterday at 6:49pm · Ann Leese Lewis Charlotte, please remember that God will never bring you to anything that he wont bring you though. I will always be praying for you and Matthew. He is so special, but so are you. I knew that the first day we met. If you need anything just let me know. I love you!!!
Yesterday at 6:59pm · Charlotte Pugh Kappler thanks ann. I know I can make it through just about anything. I am just going to have to make things happen myself and stop waiting on someone to step in and save the day cuz it's not going to happen.lol thanks for your encouragement! Love you too!
9 hours ago · Vicki Bever Doze There were so many years when we felt alone when Jared was having so many things going on and when we felt friends and relatives probably thought, "He's your problem, you have to do it by yourself." We only had my husband's sister-in-law and a couple of great friends who offered once in awhile to help us out.
May Heavenly Father bless Matthew and his family who love him so much.
6 hours ago ·
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