Our Appt. is tomorrow at 10 with a gtube surgeon. I may have done too much research on this feeding tube. I feel like it's a good thing and will add more years to Matthew's life. But of course, I want them to tell me the Matthew NEEDS a feeding tube. I don't want to get it just to make things easier on me. I know the surgery is not going to be easy. I found out that most gtube surgeons do another procedure during the surgery. It's where they wrap the stomach... I forget what's it's called but it prevents reflux or gerd. I've heard a lot on the loop about kids with gerd and reflux but didn't realize that it was caused from the tube. Anyway.. I am going to try to get me a list of questions together for the doctor tomorrow. If I have ONE bad "feeling" about the doctor, we will definately find another one. I don't believe I HAVE to use whatever doctor I am referred too. I don't have to let them treat me like I am an idiot. Matthew's life will be in God's hands and the doctors hands but if the doctor doesn't "fit my expectations" we'll move on. I usually get these "feelings" about things and know if I am doing the right thing or not.
What really stinks is that I have been using up most of our days for the last few weeks trying to get enough food and drink down Matthew that he doesn't lose weight. This evening, he decides to eat a half of stage three baby food like a pro. I thought that this was great!!! Maybe he's getting his swallowing ability back.. But when I tried to give him the juice with his phenylbarb, he breathes funny and chokes. I guess I'm just looking for an excuse to change my mind. It actually will be up to me whether or not he gets a feeding tube.
Yea, I'm nervous already.
I was also wondering how I would go through with a surgery and take my online classes that start the 16 of this month? I guess I'll cross that road when I get to it. I can always withdraw and start again next semester. I'll post tomorow about the doctors visit.
Charlotte
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