These are some older entries I am transferring from my AOL Journal.

What Does He Have to Smile About?
When my little angel wakes up in the morning, he usually just lays there in his bed cooing and saying mama with his hands. (He makes a noise and pats his mouth with his hands so it sounds like he’s saying mama). When I go to say Good Morning, he smiles so big you can see every tooth in his mouth. I take his clothes and diaper off because he loves to lay naked waiting on the bath water to run. As soon as he hears me turn on the whirlpool he squeals with delight. He’ll lay there for a while waiting on his bath. You can peek at him and he’s still smiling and patting his mouth.
When I get undressed, I pick him up and we both get in the whirlpool. He starts kicking his legs and squealing some more. He has the biggest grin you ever saw and is looking over his shoulder to his right at me and try to give me kisses.
After I have stretched his legs and opened his tight little fists, he gets to lay with the water jets on his shoulders. He absolutely loves that part. Then he gets to "swim". I hold his head up and he kicks his legs like a frog. Smiling all the way. Before we get out of the tub he knows he’ll get to splash ten times then it’s over. By that I mean I stand up and let him up and down into the water ten times. He laughs and smiles hysterically every time we do that. I Hurt my back yesterday doing that.
I put the towel on his face and he giggles and smiles because he thinks Im playing peekaboo. I rub his head with the towel to dry his hair and he giggles so much he can hardly catch his breath.
I rub lotion all over his body and message his muscles. He really squeals when you message his belly. Then we get dressed and head to the kitchen for breakfast.
Matthew has never rolled over, crawled, sat up, talked or walked and is blind. What does he have to smile about? Well Im just glad that he was born this way and it didn’t happen after he was born. He never knew how to see, walk, talk, crawl or any of those things so he doesn’t miss it. It’s hard to say that but it’s true. Yea, I wish he could do some or all of those things but that’s how I have to look at it.
When I see people with scowls on their faces or someone that is constantly complaining, it really bothers me. Especially if they have never experienced having a disabled child. Sure, they may have other problems but Im talking about the people that make the biggest mountains out of mole hills. If anyone has the right to walk around with a frown and be mad at the world it would be I and my family but that’s not the case with us. There are some parents of disabled children that blame God and walk around angry and sad all the time. Matthew feels everything I feel. He is part of me. If I walk around mad at the world, then what kind of disposition would he have? I couldn’t be angry or mad anyway because living with Matthew is like living with an angel. He keeps my spirits up by his smiles and the way he looks for me over his shoulder, trying his hardest to see me with those big blue eyes is a blessing in itself because we were told he would probably never "know" or "recognize" people.
Now what do you have to smile about?
Good Night?

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